via benjaminf

Wi-Fi Diner by Josh Ellingson (via laughingsquid)

Haha, it’s funny because it’s innocent.

Take 30 seconds to watch this video, it will not disappoint.

(via benjaminf)

So, if you’re at all into the Wolfram Alpha stuff, you might kinda find this funny. A statement from the perspective of the ever so egotistical Stephen Wolfram.

Some might say that Mathematica, the source of my fortune, and A New Kind Of Science: A Brief History Of My Stupendous Intellect were ambitious projects. But in recent years I’ve been hard at work on a still more ambitious project: Wolfram Alpha [today.com].
Fifty years ago, people assumed that computers would quickly be able to handle all kinds of question. It didn’t work out that way. But a few years ago, I realized that I was finally in a position to do it myself. As I’d always expected I’d have to, of course.
I had the crucial ingredients: Mathematica and A New Kind Of Science. And my truly massive intellect. With these, I had a language to compute anything and a paradigm for complexity from simple rules. And my spectacular brain, which is much more spectacular than anyone else’s, as proven by me being rich as well as smart. Which is smarter: to be a professor, or to be the professor all the other professors pay tribute to? I think my net worth makes the answer clear.
But what about all the actual knowledge that we as humans have accumulated? I realized we needed to make all data computable as knowledge. Of course, natural language is incredibly difficult for computers. So we added the secret ingredient: my jaw-droppingly spectacular brain, undoubtedly the largest on Earth.
I’m happy to say that with a mixture of clever algorithms and heuristics, linguistic discovery and curation, and some casual Nobel-worthy theoretical breakthroughs in my spare moments, we’ve made it work. It’s going to be a website with one simple input field that gives direct access to my superlative brain, in its planet-sized glory.
Our pre-launch testers have been at work as well, and I’m dealing with all manner of queries in spare thought cycles while I jetset around the world, wowing the pitiful minds of gorgeous international supermodels before impregnating them with my superior genetic material. Let’s just have a look at the query stream:
“tits” “goatse” “mary whitehouse naked” “4chan” “tubgirl” “2girls1cup” “ITS OVER 9000 LOL” “desu desu desu desu”
ERROR ERROR ERROR
&&#(â^^(856â^*#**â#&*##&##
NO CARRIER_

Subject: Clarity in a real sense.

Dustin,

Hello there.  I didn’t want to write on your wall where everyone could see, but could you please explain to me what it means that you “dugg everybody must get stoned?”  I must admit that you’ve got me a little bit concerned there.  I love you and care about you and the choices you make.  Please write back and clarify your point of view. 

Much love,
Aunt ______

I just got this message in Facebook mail. Good to know my family members care about me :D. but seriously, made me lol everywhere.